For a long time, I was a mother living with constant anxiety.
Our family was physically divided — living between Korea and Malaysia — each of us trying to survive in our own way.
I chose early overseas education for my child in the name of “global education.”
But looking back now, I can admit something difficult:
that decision was also my escape.
An escape disguised as ambition, justified by my child.
My child was placed in an environment where neither Korean nor English felt fully safe.
School was a continuous state of tension.
And when he finally returned home, the one place that should have felt like relief,
he was met by me — a mother who unknowingly extended that tension.
In truth, there was no “home sweet home” for my child.
Because his development did not follow the same timeline as other children,
I pushed harder.
I whipped him forward without fully understanding what he was carrying.
And my child, without knowing why, absorbed all of my frustration, anxiety, and impatience.
He carried emotions that were never his to hold.
At that time, my obsession was simple and cruel:
He must catch up. He must become like the others.
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What Has Changed
Today, that obsession has not disappeared —
but it has transformed.
I now have a standard.
Not a comparison.
Not someone else’s timeline.
And my focus is no longer an obsession with my child,
but a commitment to a direction.
I am no longer chasing normalcy.
I am moving toward a goal.
One direction.
One shared path.
Slowly, steadily,
we are building a life that feels more stable —
for both of us.
“Our overseas life did not begin with excitement or freedom.
It began with wristbands, rules, and quiet fear.”